My Family Through My Mother's Point of View...

Part of the study in Cultural Anthropology requires interviewing people in order to gather some information and data. For this week, we were required to choose a family member to conduct an interview with and discuss the topic of kinship.
I decided to interview my mother. My mother was born in Jordan, during a time when technology was not as well developed as it is today. My mother was able to finish only two years of college as her parents did not permit her to stay in a school where males also attended it. She became a physical education teacher for almost 25 years. Being a P.E. teacher was did not allow for my mother to have high economic state. My mother married my dad at the age of 26 and together, they maintained an average middle class social living. Along with me, my mother also had three other children, all of who are older than me. My mom belongs to the Arabic culture, a very conservative culture that differs greatly from the American culture. Due to the fact that my mom was born into the Arabic culture, she also lived and taught my siblings and I the morals and values of the Arabic culture. My mother and father sought a more stable financial state of living; they decided to move into the United States to seek better work opportunities. Up until today, my mother considers herself a part of the middle class and a part of the Arabic community and culture. 


Due to the fact that my mother was born in Jordan, her primary language is Arabic. She has had difficulties learning the English Language as she moved to the United States at an older age. Because of this, the interview was conducted in Arabic. As an interviewer, I had to make sure to translate the question to Arabic very well in order to get the precise answer I needed. The interview itself was very comfortable because it was with someone who I knew very well. Because of this comfort level, I feel like this interview was very thorough and complete. Also, since my mother was unaware of the reasons behind this interview, her answers were very honest and did not include any false information. If I was interviewing someone who was not related to me, I feel as if the interview would have some awkward moments. Also, I would not be very confident that they would answer all of my questions as thorough and as honest as I would want them to. 


The main description for my mother's kinship pattern would be "patrilineal descent". This means that the power and authority is transferred through the male line in the family. My mother was born into a household where the family's decision was maintained by her father, who's father also controlled the family's decisions. Because of that, when she married my father, who's family also gave the power to his father, she was not granted very much power. Instead, my mother carried on the role of making the decisions for the household. Because of that, my brothers assume most of the control in my house. Due to the fact that my mother was born into the Arabic culture, her family belongs to the eskimo system where it is important to identify the mother, father, brother, and sister in the family, while catagorizing the other relatives as uncles and aunts. Aunts and uncles have different Arabic terms depending whether they are from the mother's side or the father's side.


Within my mother's family, there seems to be stronger bonds between the females than the males. While my mother is close with all her siblings, her brothers are not as close to each other. When asked who my mother would turn to in time of need, she said she would seek her sister's help. When I asked why, she said because her sister is the only one who is living in the United States as well. I, then, followed up with the same question but asked her to exclude the distance factor. She then answered that she would seek all of her sibling's help because, once again, she is close to all of them relatively the same. My mother's kinship has a common characteristic of kindness. Her siblings and her are very kind and sweet to everyone else. However, they have different expectations of the children depending on their age. While all children are expected to attend school and college and maintain excellent study ethics, older ones are also expected to maintain excellent work ethics and to work hard to gain whatever they desire. All children are also expected to stick to their traditions and culture and to remain respectful to the elderly. There are no ethnic differences within the family which limit the social differences within the family. When I asked my mother what impacted her family to stay together and maintain great social interactions, she responded with "all thanks to my parents who made sure we loved each other and made sure we always counted on each other". This is the reason why my mother tries to continue this pattern and tries to create a great relationship between my siblings and I.

Speaking from my point of view, I would say that I am not as familiar with all my relatives as I thought I was. I am familiar with my aunts and uncles from my mother's side, not from my father's side. Due to family fueds in the past, most of the communication between my family has been with my mother's side of the family. This is why I am most familiar with them. While I may know the names of my uncles and aunts from my father's side, I do not know them as well as I know my aunts and uncles from my mother's side. This shows that the relationship that parents have with their relatives has a great impact on the relationship their children have with those relatives. Since the move to the United States, I have only been able to socialize with my aunt who lives here. There are some phone conversations I have with my other uncles, but it is not the same. I think this is influences by the geographical distance. My aunt here is only a few minutes away from me, while my uncles and aunt in Jordan are across the world from me making it harder to socialize.

Before coming to the United States and seeing the cultural pattern here, my father had the most influence in making the decisions for the family. This is because that was the typical case in the Arabic culture. However, that changed when we made the move to the USA. While living here, my mother learned that both the husband and the wife make mutual decisions regarding the family and began to make the decisions with my father as well. This is part of the cultural adaptations that my family adopted.

Treatments in the family differs from gender to gender. For example, while males are allowed to go out more and allowed a later curfew, the females are not allowed to stay out late. This is part of the Arabic culture that tries to protect the vulnerable and "innocent" girl. However, there is no different treatment towards those who are married into the family as marriage brings in a new family member that is still respected and loved by all.

Through this experiment, I was able to learn the reasons for why my mother acts a certain way towards me, and why out family socializes more with her side of the family. I also learned of some deaths in the family that I was unaware of since I was born after all the deaths occurred. This was a very helpful experiment because I was able to see my family from my mother's point of view which is a very reliable source.